My Story Up Until Now Part II

cont...

I always struggled with self esteem issues, for the most part provoked by my fluctuating levels of obesity (I have been overweight since I was 8 years old). I wasn't always FAT but I was always 'chunkier' than I should have been for my height. I was also the biggest in my immediate family which was utterly embarrassing most of the time.

I tried everything I knew of to lose weight. I did Weight Watchers, LA Weight Loss, diet bars, shakes, pills, personal trainers, starving myself, Nutrisystem and Dr. supervised diets. NONE of them worked long term. I would lose 5 pounds here, 10 pounds there but then I would gain it all back plus more. I hated going to the doctor because it seemed that every time I went she would ask me what I was going to do about my weight. I could have been in there to talk about headaches and at the end she would print me an appointment summary with the #1 diagnosis always including "Patient is severely obese".

When I started my career in sales, a close member of my family (not my parents or sister) said "Your clients will respect you more, and buy more if you lost weight." I was utterly flabbergasted that someone would say that to me...especially someone that loved me. I guess the truth hurts sometimes...

I spent these last two years not really caring if I was getting fatter. It was like a downward spiral that just kept getting worse and worse. I gained more weight, my self esteem went down so I would eat more and on went the vicious cycle.

In August, 2008 my roommate came home and told me about LapBand surgery. For the next couple months I researched my heart out and decided this was my answer. For me, it wasn't as much about the foods I was eating, it was more about the amount I was taking in. I was eating enough for two people most of the time and portion control didn't really exist in my vocab.

I went down the insurance route for approval but kept running into roadblocks. At the time I was going to submit my request I was 'fat enough' to get approved, but I couldn't prove that I had been 'fat enough' for the two years prior that they wanted to see. I think it is absolutely disgusting that insurance companies won't pay for a life-saving surgery because you haven't suffered enough to qualify. I had high blood pressure (172/120), high blood sugars and GERD. Because I had Kaiser Insurance for most of my life I never was technically 'diagnosed' with these co-morbidity's. The new insurance I had, Aetna PPO (California), wouldn't accept those as co-morbidity's since I had never had treatment in the form of pills. Kaiser's treatment was "LOSE MORE WEIGHT". It was a lose lose.

I was getting increasingly frustrated everyday about whether or not I was going to be approved. I was losing sleep, eating more and becoming more and more depressed until finally I just decided I was going to pay for it myself. Thank God I have wonderful parents who were so supportive. They offered to pitch in a third of the cost. They completely accept me as I am and just want to see me healthy.